What Shall Be (here -- 2 +~~__OR__ things that should be here but aren't -- a sort of follow-up packed with excuses

1. the five star stories homework . . . everytime I sit down with a
copy, or some "data", I become engrossed and contain make more "data"
/ maybe when august is gone, because august is a heat-murk. I made a
little desk/ table though, for these sorts of things.

2. something re: "accelerationism" / actually this is all written but
I lack guts to post it, plus it veers off into many tangents that may
be considered utter insanity. Actually I don't mind being considered
"utterly insane" -- but, oh and I did I mention main computer is
melting, it feels things have to be done quick before true "meltdown"

3. tentenko reviews. Two are written. They require editing because
again tangents. And Conduct was going to happen, then Conduct 2
appeared and I have to re-think things.

4. ototoi friday in japanese. I want to make the text loop and am
having difficulties...

5. the translation dilemna re: fushitsusha. This is also written but
my guts are lacking and anyway, who would really care. This applies to
al the above.

6. I Am A Hero homework. Bits of this are done. Then the final volume
came out and caused me severe melancholia and I cannot re-read yet.
This may take years in fact, it was a wonderful ending. Maybe, I
propose, a list of mysteries prior to last volume.

7. Something else I have suddenly forgotten.

8. an attempt to create a working method for translating haiku into
english. Prime examples, i.e. the Bashou "frog/pond" one.

maybe 8a) correctives to translations I have seen of western poems
into japanese. i.e. E Pound's Station at the Metro / a Yeats poem the
author of I Am A Hero may be using in one of his new works.

9. something else 9a) something also else 9b) also something else

10. revelry games and jouissance. . .(sic? probably)

-- oh, 7 probably something to do with "writing" -- who wants to hear about that. writing is dead.

no-revival o nothing ---

"OTOTOI friday" j-PoPPal Authority rebuild 1 (because i ((didn't)lost(lose) count of previous) (reference to eva rebuild films)(which is(not quite) correct, I think)


once thought of a dance/theatre duo "work"/ a couple are never allowed to see the other, so actions are performed as tho together but in a dance-like manner always managing to avoid being seen. This marvelous odd marginal idol duo video almost approaches. They act as if not quite human or now&then, their humanity is occasional. Then they play!

ototoi Friday

= (?) (never be too sure) :

"the Friday two days ago" is duo name: song title: "perhaps I am actually a skyfish" . . .?!??
think "skyfish" were things captured by random
video, & thought to be UFOs, but turned out
was just birds in distance or little insects flying very fast making a
blur? I think HD camera solved the puzzle of "skyfish"?

maybe? & no I don't know why there are occasional floating panties. Otherwise it is entirely SFW I would say. Tho that maybe depends on your workplace.


this is "is there a possibility of romance between these two" (?) (never be too sure)approximately.

Hence the "duality" theme.

They are mostly separate except when singing. Again, my old idea of the couple who deliberately keep each other out of sight yet co-habit.


I had this suspicion all along, and confirmed it yesterday, duo is "おとといフライデー” "the friday 2 days ago" & indeed March 11th 2011 (earthquake/tsunami) was a (very memorable friday) (in fact I can't remember anything about years i.e. 2010, 2009. 2011 has cleaved through my memory) And that would therefore be (the band name) representative of 13th March 2011 which I may be wrong but I am sure that is when the explosions at the nuclear reactors occurred . . . I watched live on TV, some kind of metal plate went far far up in the air, and later in tokyo in a school round the corner plutonium was found on some sports equipment (or tarpaulin covering said sport equipment) that had been outside for the duration of this "event"


if this is not a coincidence (what other memorable fridays are a 11th March?) then this is further proof (for my little theory) that marginal idol-units and the break down of barriers between the pre-2011 underground and idol subculture was due to this agglomeration of events.

As to why exactly, that is a little harder to consider, but think, two natural disasters accompanied by a human-made(or "readied") one. That is a true EVENT.


end translate-dilemma with this coda wherein all my silliness is fully displayed /

-- I admit idiocy here. Feel free to feel good about yourself (redunancy of "feel" but can it be helped?)

my brain, I realised, without letting me know what it way doing (I had to find out by the by-ways) had concocted for itself unknown to me a little chamber wherein it would translate what ever was there to see, read &c . . . also, it had a strong to desire to make itself understood -- that is fair, translation successfully requires it be understood to some extent, in whatever context the text is rooted in)

I had not even aware of the brain making its little compartments, though was aware of my recent tendency to read something while simultaneously attempting translate it (english to japanese)

-- A copy pf the email with retracted parts like the CIA do, wherein I realised all this,follows:

『 ・・・ while focusing on your music writing (or read: writing on
music) I had a revelation some time mid last night (while sorta
sleeping) / I had been obsessing about translation because that is
what I seem to currently be doing, then this obsession connects to all
other things, i.e. writing about music; the concern is whether I can
translate my interest in the music, or "understanding" (I am doubtful
of my understanding of anything much) so other people can share the
understanding, and this goes back to the earthquake, 2011, here in
japan, and the tsunami &c, which seemed to provoke the current music
scene to occur, which is what I am interested in currently, musically
speaking, and so the problem of translation becomes at least a
three-fold thing, and I find comfort in yr concise method &c.

((I may come back to this or make it a blogpost no-one will read, but
it explains a lot to me, like self-therapy sudden revelation)) . . . 』

↑↑↑ ↑↑↑ ↑↑↑ ↑↑↑ ↑↑↑ ↑↑↑

So mainly :

my brain without letting me know made a compartment for translation purpose (well done I tell it, even now)

brain compartment declined to include all my worry about 1st) the conundrum of post-2011 poppish (use that term very lightly) musics
+ the question of why they appeared post 2011 (this is undeniable, digital dating stuff if you require evidence, it is all there)
(me 2nd 2nd): my conscious desire to have this understood must have meshed with the compartment (1/)

3/ (2 both 2nds)became interfused, so there was no real way out, I wanted my understanding of things to be UNDERSTOOD, or this word, I keep finding it more meaningful: ACKNOWLEDGED

4/ so the brain compartment was confusedly interpreting translation as equal to understanding (this is another matter) + my desire for ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of what I took to be my understanding (of the pop-stuff, but it got entangled)

SO, a 5th, final, I was idiot, distracted all-ways, wanted utter understanding in some magical event, BUT,

BUT from now on, the translations go here (compartment 1), the marginal idol units go there (compartment 2), there is no need to understand one to understand the other.

Maybe one day I can find a way to combine compartments in a workable manner, but until then, I am afraid they are separate concerns. (even thou, back of my head, they remain interfused)

I have unraveled myself somewhat. I had unraveled myself somewhat. Not I am compartmentalising. Sounds very 80s/

so, sorrys all round.

・ ・ ・ ・ ・ ・ ・ 

Things I know or think I know & probably don't about Korea

-- because of recent events -- the news reporters on Japanese TV seemed slightly worry/wary whereas elsewhere things seemed maybe happy (unguardedly?) / but anyway any reporting re: Korea on here's TV has to be scrutinised for bias/ subtle (sometimes not-so) hatred, a strong word, but it often seems present beneath the surface . . .

things &c (blog title ↑)

1・ it (the peninusla in question) is to my right sort of from where I sit now typing this (so is Qatar, enough peninsula, just further)

2・ the jeju uprising, during Korean war (maybe before america went in) a sort of massacre of men women children by koreans on the (what would become) south side / so the victims of that would be on the north side (though the location of this is an island south of main korean end coast i.e. south korea) (this is becoming confusing, but why shouldn't it) so "North" side is not to be automatically assumed "baddies"

2・1 - a "zainichi" (japanese citizen, korean refugee said war, wrote book about this, and is not allowed to visit south korea) ("zainichi" is sort of discriminatory term and indeed a discriminated-against group in japan) and I can't find this book yet nor this other one about writing in japanese "the infection of language" or something. Maybe his books are discriminated against here so hard to find...?

3・ In Gene Wolfe's (who fought in Korea) (in the war, not just like on his own) Book of the New Sun mysterious "navigator" Jonas speaks Korean.

4・ The terrifying ferry sinking incident -- don't listen to your "elders" unquestioningly, or maybe better not at all.

5・ It has been claimed during an anti-Japanese "protest"(odd word in this context, maybe "demonstration" is what I mean) in Korea a dog was beheaded as a symbolic act (not really symbolic as its head was actually beheaded?) (symbolic as in the dog was meant to represent "the" Japanese -- what all of them? I assume they simply could not procure a Japanese person in time or something?) (it is a metaphor but no it is a dead dog).

6・ Tokyo has a "Korean Town" Shinokubo, just beside the station is a tiny little shrine for all animals killed in wartime. I met a nice cat there once. An alive cat.

7・ A schoolgirl from Osaka became sort of infamous for louding shouting very racist genocidal things during an anti-Korean "protest" I mean "demonstration" -- there is youtube footage somewhere. Probably of (5) also.

// brief summation so far// -- so relations are sort of symbolically not good though also there is co-existence and nothing is straightforward.

And the potential harmonising of relations between north and south Korea has hard-to-predict consequences in Japan, at least, in heads, of some Japanese peoples, and its government. The wariness.

William Burroughs said: once a problem appears in the world it can never be "solved" / "disappear" be removed from the world. I always thought of this as being like an annoying cord that is always never straight and has a bent bit that maybe you straighten but then another bent bit results. Or Pac-Man, i.e. it cannot be "completed" as such, level 256 (the last I think) is sort of utterly bugged, because the makers did not think people would ever get that far, or, some memory problem, I can't remember. Though people still manage anyway a workable route that results in the world record hi-score. Though there is no beyond. Right?

So harmony somewhere results in dis-harmony elsewhere, always. Because we are not a "ONE"

Oh, there is a Charles Olson quote related to this somewhere. I will find it, for potential Part Two, of this, which here ends, as a Part (now aptly) One.

/ / / / / ----------------------------------------------------------

the strata over-thought re: translation all things considered and gone, over-long, then prolonged even . . .

---- (this is strata-style, everything has taken on strata-style, I did not mean to...)

so layer 1/the not-yet but will-be-written, 2/the written, 3/revision(re-see as RD says) 4/the editor-dude 5/the reader ( 4.5/ nightmare of formatting on idiot computers ) - the reader seems to have a choice how many layers they are willing to expend here ...

/ later, translation layers -- /

translation has its own layering system, uncountable. Again, it is what a reader or whatever they are, and their effort, are willing to expend.

Now the virus translation layer has concept of parasite. This is already present in language itself. In translation it becomes a question of how parasitical should it be, and which language (original, or the translated-into) is main concern (may depend on original text, the whim/will of translator/ the patience or something like that of eventual hopefully reader, of the translation. How far are you willing to go, is always a back-of-mind question.

I almost am frightening myself in a weird textual manner.

Note, if you care, in this text about large viruses, how the text seems to fit its format, i.e, online -- example "host-range" -- now this is likely a typical term to use in virology, but look how it alters itself somewhat, it is "hosted" online, we think of wi-fi and such -- this is unintentional, hence the virus is present, with its unusual vocabulary and such that we, inexperts in virology can nevertheless translate into terms that make sense to us, via this format. A magazine format would be something else. But still the virulent terms are what are prominent. Something like an invasion, which is also an infection, is happening. Welcome to language.

Welcome, one language says to another. There is a mediator between. How they manage depends on value-systems without both languages (they are for now, let's suppose, innocent)/ they pin the mediator/ It was anyway the dreamed-of occupation to do this, but on further investigation, things beyond the two languages, to be welcomed to each other (into each other) are found, lurking. I am the prey of that without language, that seeks some intercourse between the languages neither of which it is privy to, but somewhere in the mix is found what it is looking for. Profit, I think. Not money, it may be profit by degradation of the two languages, and I have participated in this unwittingly. So I shall be on my guard. But against what. I am not sure what game is being played here. I merely wanted to make a bit of one language function in another. I am thinking something is sneaking through this intercourse, which is also full of gaps. I am a participant in a contamination/infection/infiltration. Space Invaders.

That is how I feel when at most unease.// Texts need not be read. Language need not be understood. It is trade mechanism gone dumb and viral and acting with instinct. Intent?

Figure this out at least. Intent.

To consolidate some already won domain. To keep enemies out. To keep the viral alive, alert, intact, awaiting next host. Next host text/ language. And without motivation, mere continuation.

Sometimes that is what I think of "my generation" of writer people/ Without motivation, mere continuation. I hope I am not like that (my "publishing history" ha ha should prove this) ("sparse") -- I have moved the argument, if that is what it was, quite avidly, outrageously, even. Either I am infected, or all of you are, and see my argument that way. To argue, I see myself my argument that way, hence I am not infected?

Shall I stop knowing nothing or proceed further?

Go back a bit / virus&translation. Take it from the top, i.e. a topological examination of this process. Let us try. Let's Pretend (old UK children's tv show):

Two sides 1/ extant poem 2/ a phantom (2) the result of translation that will be the new poem/ The in-between is well, me, hello; (2) has not yet happened yet, we are still working on it. It may take some time. 1/ exists. May be recent, may be old. Only as old as the language can be. While negotiating between, do I feel other things? Cultural events both recent and past may have a phantom presence alongside me. This usually depends on what 1/ is "saying" involved with/ then the question, how to turn that to (2) so readable by the public who read the (2) but not the one. So cultures impact, if I let them, the result (2) 2/
If it gets tricky I wonder and lament: why am I doing this. I am not getting paid much, if at all, &c . . . yet I go on. In the end you simply want 1/ to become 2/

There is an inbetween/ the black box. I believe this is a thing in mathematics, no not merely mathematics, philosophy, &c, "thought experiments" (maybe a translation is a "thought-experiment" done and dusted / become physical / has passed through the black box. It looks very odd now, utter new form) it is an image on this blog (maybe not if you are viewing via "smart" phone) /Perhaps I become the black box when translating/ I feel I may know a little more than the outside viewer, they see only a black box, I see at least the beginning and end of threads that are each attached to the original to-be-translated, and the translated-result. process in between I am not sure I know of. One language so separate from another cannot be bridged by mere knowledge and/or logic. I let it be an absence or something of a dream-phase.

That is the best I can do, I think.

Now consider what has happened. A text has been violated. A reassembly has appeared with all processes of reassembly absent. Something has gone missing. Or was never there. You will never know, me neither. It is an infection process.

On a tangent consider the whole of writing, I have now written on my rented wall: translation = co-morbity (not on the wall: but reading what is written is similar perhaps) (return to wall:) writing, and translation of, as a sustained death-vector.

so there, done and dumbest ////

concerning translation prelude the 2nd the 2nd strata

--------------------------------↓ further down the strata ↓---

will I just have prelude after prelude before prelude as I try to articulate something or other . . . ?

Though I feel am on verge of saying something of reasonable significance.

Yet it may simply be the allergy medicine I have taken, it has done something to my head (brain) . . . appearance-wise, my head is unchanged.

Well I hope so . . .


Writing as death = writing oneself into a disappearance = writing is a vanishing act!

& translation is a doubling-down of all this . . . there is the virus-vector to consider also -- invader-translation: (enters syringe-like into "host" language.)

/ thoughts on the importance of marginal-idol units of Tokyo keep intervening, as though there is some connection to make before I can proceed /


writing as disappearance: from Blanchot "The Work and Death's Space"

" . . . it is vain to want to remain oneself above and beyond one's disappearance . . . vain and, moreover, the opposite of what one wants, which is not to subsist in the leisurely eternity of idols, but to change, to disappear in order to cooperate in the universal transformation: to act anonymously and not to be a pure, idle name."

/ idols ! / idle / an idyll / and doll, a lifeless semblance-to-life /

(see yurumerumo: id idol /keywords: "identity / "suicide" very here


If I could first answer the question: why are Oyasumi Hologram so good? I may get closer to managing to say what I have to say re: translation &c (and they are "so good" -- I will fight whoever disagrees.)

So, if for example, someone solves the riddle of the recent-ish song "MOTHER" -- why the Japanese lyrics are not the lyrics sung - the lyrics sung are in English and do not relate to the Japanese lyrics, though the Japanese lyrics do relate to the video itself . . ? (&,watching the video and listening the song and reading the lyrics almost become three separate things, or like a muttering "other" -- it is an odd sensation)

(it is uncanny)


(another) end for now / /

un-ring bell colour / unconsidered preface to translation-thoughts to come (soon~ish)

/・ ・ ・ ・ 

Finnegans Wake pg 566

" . . . and for wouldbe joybells to ring sadly ringless hands." . . .

I think I wrote in 4th novella (as yet, highly unavailable!) something like "un-rung bell colour"

then this shows up in the above-mentioned //

& I have been making an "effort" to integrate hints of marginal-idol units into my novellas (as well as of late, or maybe since long ago, I can't remember: The Fall lyrics)

for example, novella number 5 has "perfect area all complete" which is halfly from a song by an actual idol,not a marginal idol unit. Do I contradict myself? Yes, &c //

was reminded of video games in the above near idol song quote/borrowing. "no-miss clear" / in my earlier years I used to think "no-miss" meant you did not miss killing enemy, but it means you avoided yourself being killed, by enemy . it is mostly impossible to kill all enemies.

Anyway, can someone with synethesia chime (!oops) in and say what an un-rung bell colour is/ I am thinking: blueish-grey/ similar to some bird's egg (heron?) though not speckled . . . is synestesia a universal thing, or on an per-individual thing. So is it not mere imagination at unconscious (before deciding to imagine) layer?

Anyway, this is 伝説ライブ (legendary live / legendary concert -- in order for it to be "legendary" I must not have been in attendance")
Early Bellring 少女 Hearts :

bellring now (once briefly renamed "HELLRING" why I don't know) now named There There There's / and currently back to mostly core members minus Tira-san, because she is from Taiwan, I think management didn't realise about visa issues /

They / TTT/BELLRING have many "end-songs"

In fact they could likely now perform a concert entirely comrpised of "end-songs"

I attempt a list: (there are too many options via youtube, simply search if you so wish, Bellring + name of song) (plus any high-quality vast entire live concerts, sometimes 3 hours long, we went to one such 3 hour, it seemed like a flash of nightward speed and happiness)
- Edge of GOODBYE (↑-end of above- ↑)
- Candy(?)
- Rainy Dance/ Starlight Sorrow (?)
- the legend-in-itself ASTHMA
- (nowish) PELICAN (my current favourite)

in fact they started a concert with what was at the time the current "end-song", ASTHMA. Shock!

- are they becoming a life-work? Also, what genre is the music, really? I say unique HEART of BELLRING / rung in the rain perhaps, or a crow alighting on it, or un-rung and that colour is the genre.

this as unconnected preface,impregnable pointless preface to what is to be/ is written, regarding translation / layer / viral translation layer / strata &c's

---- (this is strata-style, everything has taken on strata-style, I did not mean to...)

the Five Star Studies #1 -- prelude, an explanation

There is a manga called the Five Star 物語/Stories (it varies) (try tFSS maybe as a shortcut)

--digression #1: kengo hanaza the author of among other things the manga "I am a Hero" wrote on twitter a top 10 list of manga, and wrote FFS instead, then corrected himself. It is somehow easy to write FFS when you mean to write FSS) (or everyone is just very very drunk)

I'm not good with facts but am gonna attempt some.

To help me in my understanding of FSS -- mainly timelines; this means several things, timeline concering reading the damned thing, timelines concerning for example Mortar Headds "life-span", the same for fatima &c

Hopefully by my compiliing these informations you too will be informed and your understanding will grow. If you know more than I, please let me know and berate be even, like a sad old dog I am, and I will amend accordingly.

Who will care about this? Maybe less than 20 people.

That's generally the case anyway.

tFSS started serialaisation in NewType magazine around 1986... basic wiki info: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Five_Star_Stories

A ten year hiatus occurred between volumes 12 and 13. In between, a 6 year or so in the year making anime film (it was 66 mins long according to wiki) was released GothicMade. Many times the creator insisted there was no relation to film and manga. Yet once you saw it, there it was. You would see, post-credit scene, Christine V, Fatima Machi, Fatima EST, and what at first I assumed to be the young dude who would be next Black Knight HeadLiner, but is in fact: "Dai・Gu・Fillamore5" -- (how are we spelling Fillamore? is there any standardized-form. could be Philamore?)

For me this was very moving. In fact I am sure the whole cinema audience collectively quietly gasped.

Also the whole film was simple in narrative, yet beautiful. And I think certain aspects of manga vol 12 were hinted at, if you were paying attention. I am not sure it is released as a rental DVD yet here in Japan. Will check this weekend. Anyway, we saw an early era of tFFS, beautifully animated, (the rain effects, are said to have come about through a pain-staking process of trial and error, unique to this film) (also Boeing jet manufacturer were used to supply the GTH/MortarHeadd sound effects)( maybe cause of delay of home release) (but the ドンドンドン in the manga is evoked so vividly, and makes you sort of reverberate in your cinema seat)

There was once a blog analysing the first volume or so of FSS manga. If I can I will find it and link to here.

I won't be doing an in-depth anayalsis. To start with I will do this:

The Black Knight.

First time seen.

Last time mentioned, or once-existence inferred, &c

Already things will show they are being woven. Then I will leave space in between. Appearance as seen by reader (not necessarily chronological) Appearance as shown in manga timeline. Naturally which iteration of Black Knight pilot.

Then I will go through each volume and attempt to sketch out the basic timeline. I predict this shouldn't be too hard for vol 1-4. 5 is when things get odd and thousands of years go off then reconnect back. There is also that odd "storyline map" that looks like a very complicated subway map.

And I am going to attempt my own translation of the "monarch sacred" (is it a poem, of sorts?)

Also my wife knows a lot, and will berate me when I get something wrong. As I said, don't be afraid to berate me also.

Checking "fatima", I found the etymology of "fate"/destiny in english is derived from that, also they are sometimes known as witches.

Therefore, the Five Star Studies, hereon, dedicated to destiny witches everywhere.


I am doing this for a few reasons, 1/ to understand tFSS better, 2/ to hopefully help others understand better, and 3/ because I write SF-stuff and if I were interviewed (at this rate I don't think I ever will be) but if I was: I would like to mention tFSS as being among the top 5 of SF works. And it has inspired me. And I don't want it to be called the work of a hack (I have heard this is the case, now and then) -- it is a Life-Work. I am interested in them also.

Other examples of Life-Works: (finished)(quite rare for a life-work to be actually finished, death usually intervenes) Zukofsky's "A", also "80 Flowers"(though that is more a "decade-work) // Rachel Blau DuPlessis "Drafts" // Dante's the Divine Comedy I suppose // Jay DeFeo's "the Rose", a painting. . . unknown, maybe "The Fortress" the 10,000pg prose plus diagrams work by Marianne Fritzz . . . . . . // unfinished (much more of these) The Cantos, E Pound, Maximus poems, C Olson, probably quite a mega-list could be found.

Specifically in manga: Tezaku Osamu's Buddha, and Hi no Tori(Phoenix), but he was so prolific, and when I think of a life-work it is more something you would dedicate yourself to solely. No "side-projects" -- Asano Inio I think said dedede&c (not typing it all out, here's wiki: ) may be his life-work. He is very prolific too though. I think Kengo Hanazawa, now that "I am a Hero" is done, may embark on a life-work.

tFSS is a life-work already. I only hope he doesn't try to complete it quickly, but let it lead him where it needs to. Probably will remain unfinished, but who knows.

What are the virtues of a life-work? Perhaps first an anchoring to something to commit to. A sort of self-intoxication but outside you (schizophrenia has been described as self-intoxication, but with nothing produced, so a displacement of this into producing a life-work seems sensible) secondly? I don't know. You are already in the production of life-work. Carry on.

What Shall Be (here)

I'm still daunted by MES death but have many draft thing, daft things, awaiting their posting here.

for example:

continuation of exploration into the cute factor and girl sub culture curently reigning en japon.what is cute, &c, it is about protection./ post trauma ・・・


11th March 2011, 2:46pm

& such

and something about at least one video game

and finnegans wake for sure

and tentenko album (CONDUCT OF...)

and fushitsusha explorations quite overdone maybe

and some Five Star Stories notes, mainly for myself, because I am lost.

Mainly now the nonsense has shifted to twitter --: https://twitter.com/LmthwL

I try reserve what is not nonsense, or just about not-nonsense for here.

I am slow though.

It does not matter (malone dies, early on)


I'll just state all this now so know the blog, maybe withers, though shall not die. As long as I shalln't. Or it mainly in fact depends on computer, hardware, format, whatever.THAT life-span is less than mine, unless I die right now. Maybe if I hold my breath.

See you on other side, the continuation, slouch in its self-awareness of its pointlessness.


you know, laters::: : ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the necessary la chute final The fall post ~post-The Fall / maybe part 1 of ?

I don't want to write this.

I first heard the fall when encouraged by bohemian girls in sixth form college (that is not a band name but maybe should be) -- I randomly picked, or picked the cheapest, from L'pool HMV "shift work" -- it didn't "work" for me at that point, now it is marvelous of course ("I thought shift-work would work/ &c") (all this subtle humour now to ruminate on forever until I die) (and the humour has become more evident, somehow, post this event)

Maybe I should not say anything. (I was looking for noise and free jazz, japanese psych/noise. the dead.c &c)(& was biased against "electronics" - tut-tut I tell myself now -- this was ridiculous years ago, I am not going to figure out the maths right now, 20+ years?)

Then I got "seminal live" and "the infotainment scam" (see all the wonderful album titles!) (plethora)

But it wasn't until someone gave me a mix-tape that I took with me as an exchange student to japan (thankyou Phil. W) has bits of slates/ part of america therein/ then perverted by language/ and my friend B W also got it, then, or had got it before, and we seemed together to reach further understandings: "I live with cancer death-wipe" / or something / The Fall lyrics/ The Fall -Words- always seem to be certainly this "or something" approximating.

so maybe MES was more an actual "writer" that is what I may have come to understand more clearly over this past week. A writer ensconced in song. William Blake et al //

The lyrics have taken over the household/married life (wife is sensible enough to know The Fall are ace! "all here is ace!" &c) Whenever the word "music" pops up, is immediately followed by "cassettes" . . .

I shalln't write much more. Favourite song. album/ that is all in the shifting cloud / / /

I wanted to say how wonderful at times it felt knowing you were a The Fall fan. One gig, I was so excited, I smuggled red wine into the "magnet" (now maybe gone, I don't know, this was long ago-ish) and we accumulated and drank surreptitiously, then the liverpool student union I think it was. I vomited everywhere, and this vomit, is noted, in the unofficial fall fan gigography page, I am stupidly proud to note. I managed to recover before the gruppe stared (unnuterable-era) and a lovely older fall fan took me and now-wife to front-stage and we reveled there -- this was pure kindness emanating somehow, rare to experience.

And the doorman/bouncer was so kind to me, I apologised very sincerely (about the vomit, keep up dear reader), he was the nicest doorman/bouncer I have ever encountered (usually they grab you by the throat)

I just wanted to write this "in time" "time gentle-folk please" "will you be finishing your drinks now please" / post-Last Orders

I am very far away but the hurt is bodily, mentally, also revelatory. Some sort of weird half-fun. I wanted to write this while those feelings were still current. Thank you, and good night.


birthday song byebye time




葉が茂った螺旋形に座っている ・ 炎




song にリンク方がいいな〜〜 ごめん: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VUnbPG8i3A

In the Sun-Dry zero exposition of null-form & subject

. . . because I am waiting for postman which makes me nervous, not as nervous as waiting for surgery I guess but still. And there are hours to go (a scheduled delivery) (of a wife-clothing)

. . . ((( AH! note, for every aggreived which is not a word apparently no matter how much I try(re-arranging letters, that's called spelling right? maybe "disheartened" will do as replacement. There was another word but it is gone from my head. Many things leave my head . . .) ))) . . .

wife-woman aggrieved recently by some things, examples:

1/ she noted "in the west" or its internet equivalent, the substitution of "holiday/ holiday-season" for "christmas" -- main reason for agrievment over this, its sort of pointlessness. It is hard to think of what the point is, 2000-plus years too late sort of, after the christian ravishing of pagan sacred sites and events &c . . . Jack Spicer "a substitute as christ was a substitute" or something, I can't remember, metaphor, passing a-"cross". Anyway . . .

2/She is learning french; when I mentioned something, now I can't remember, Algeria maybe, or you know, colonisation in general, she had a moment of aggrievement. or about decapitated Antoninette &c. I have not seen the film. For some reason I thought Scarlet-thingy was in it, but it is spider-man's girlfriend, and I saw a trailer, featuring spider-man's girlfriend, in blue tinged lace stockings, so there need be no more deliberation over seeing this film. The matter is settled and it will be seen. Simple, really. Let them eat cake. There was a J-poppal blog-post, kanpera no suiyobi, what is a kanpera, I always forget. suiyobi is wednesday, a well-balanced day of the week. Why is it specifically a wednesday, this kanpera thing. If I look it up, will I know. It is impossible to know prior to looking up the word "kanpera" -- to be honest, I don't imagine this matter will be easily settled.

Know I remember the other french thing, that caused aggrievement, I mentioned the little bird, the people put a cloth over their head and suck the cheeks from the little bird. That rattled her somewhat.

And then we are going to watch the Battle of Algiers film for further rattling.

. . .

earlier much earlier long long ago blog posts featuring the music I mentioned:

1/ later

2/ earlier

look, I said I prefer shibuya to shinjuku. that was before 3 police-people surrounded me in shibuya. I don't like either of those places now.

-- oh, it is is "wednesday" no kanpera.... I got the order wrong, this doesn't make the matter any clearer.

-- Oh, today is wednesday, also. Wow, as the anorexic blonde girl from english tv series "skins" would day.

---- end of pointless blogpost. now I wait at least 4 hours. I will drink. And squirm in fear.

------ I don't know how to spell "aggrievement" or if it is even a word or whatever. . .

I manoeuvre between

I foolish between reverberation and it's ECHO/not-ECHO, more fading sound of what once made echo, I feel crazily between these points


  resonance, reverb, all sorts, too many perhaps, meanings, interpretations, it is held by stone at stairwell to frighten postman, and

余韻: the more subtle echo, last-of-sounds perhaps, I like more than hibiki / / :

it lies on the floor. I like in-between that and that. What it is I don't know yet.