dream had 12th May 2017, will appemd continuations and link via twitter where great approival will be gained part1.

I had hungover dream, riding a train, the wirral, a school colleague
who later died in a drug-deal gone wrong, and a comet, or something,
explosive --

ex-ploded, beautiful it was, look at that, I sd to schoolcolleague,
and was not comet/metero like/ more a storm of black with all colours
glowing within --

viewers of madoka may think of it as walpurgeiss nacht witch - he was
not a friend as such, but we had to do athletics runnings things
together, he always 1st, I 2nd--

--the train driver was able to escape the explosion by going thru
buildings, down steps &c, until end of line, and streets were melted,
glass-like, hot to the feet --

-- and he was thought to be missing first, not dead, I had rd in local
paper, and he'd married his schoolgirl-girlfriend, who made plea for
his re-appaearance, in newspaper --

**// ah this is something else/ a dream midrash/** // ah ' OH, all below likely write on ambien, hence obliteration of spelling. This too, but ambien hasn't kicked in yet or don't think it has, I can't see almost/// 21st May, interpolation./

I was preparing to call an ambulance for myself monday afternoon (is there etiquette involved, calling ambulance for yourself?) So but, as I thougt I was suffering head pain similar to prelimenaey thingy araxhnoid haemato

Ma haematoma &c & thougt best way of survicmg such a thing is to seek trained medical like assistance sooner rather than later.
I wondered what one needs to wear when going to hospital. And cbineta, I assume there are little cabinets to put things i.e., books in, a change of socks. Oh, a toothbrush. oh, tooth paste!

I became almost fond of the idea, of entering a hospital. The in-laws, one or two at least, may visit. Thinking fondly in such a manner got me through the pain (plus aome sobbing, sobbing seems to have its part to play in pain management).

I thought in the hospital they (trained medical people) may want to drain somw blood from my head. Maybe an mri, maybe a spinal tap. Almost for certain, a colonoscopy. and the same, throatways. At the same time!

**// at first was going to put this on twitter but is too long / so here for now / half-way thru the dream/ I remember the rest / I have had other dreams since but I remember still the continuation of above dream , . . . . / for now here we are, as kahala tomomi sang/sings still on occasion.

---- ** this dream accont will continue, I remember its ending still, also, another dream intervened, involved a cat. The prior dream (not yet fully told to include cat) include cat. The intervening dream, involving also a cat, shall not be fully described. Only to say:

A cat of a neighbour(not real, in the dream, and in the dream much more rich than me &c) needed a cat to be looked after, for I think three days. He (it was a he((the neighbour,in the dream also had a rabbit, but this did not require me looking after it)
the cat was clever, I think, and liked to eat the food of the rabbit, as a treat, or something.

The rabbit was powerless.


eventually I will return to the first dream, but there may be interventions. I think this is what this blog here shall be for, for now, for a while, or maybe ever ever.

Please stay attuned.

--- 29th of the 5th month, I think that is May(?) 2017 ---

2nd 6th (I think that is June, 2017) -- let us continue this nonsense --

I had dream some days ago (no dreams now, I can't slept, only night-day-night-daydreams (awake thoughts in other words, endless))

I had dream, gordon, some days ago, I was in indonesia (never actually been) taken over by an alternative (though reality is quite close-to-truth) fascist japanese "government" -- a particular picture of hitler with tanks on a bridge drew attention. I made friends with an indonesian boy.

Why I was there I don't know. There were no cats.

Now as I attempt writing my recollection of the dream it dwindles as though in retreat, as though my writing about it makes it afraid.

--Stop nonsense for a while stop. all stop. stop. -- it will re-occur once I lie down.

Oh did I mention I was looking after a cat for three days (in a dream) (looks above, yes I see I did mention that Oh well.)

"Hind Square"

-- we will get back to the first time when the stars are correct in alignment. Forgive me. --

------ (I am just going to post like this from now on. noone cares anyway. an infinite typewriter)

- anyway now I recall the indonesian dream further, I needed to write two pairs of kanji, and liberate indonesia. I can't remember them. They are halfway in my head and halfway elsewhere. one has 月 in it. (moon). and can't sleep and can't dream to get back there. maybe that is all real and I am here in an unreal-real and being blocked from returning to help.

I want to help/

and HELP!


(same day,month, year, as above, or is it below)


OH! and in the Indonesian boy's room/house was volume 9 of Proust, but in english there are only 6 volumes. But in french there are, like. 12, or something? it may have been easier for everyone to publish them like in francais, then it may not seem so daunting. I have the pink/yellowy volumes, 1-4 and a whiteish 5, but no 6 yet. I wanted all the pink/yellowy ones, for harmony's sake. But it wasn't to be. I often have re-occurring dreams about finding the pink/yellowy volumes. Anyway, what is volume 9 in francais? je ne sais pas. I got lost in volume four half way during a 400pg or so dinner or something party, so vowed to start from three. the last paragraph or so of volume 2 is one of my favourite paragraphs. Also, I heard volume 6 is not available in amerika? Why or this is simply something my mind has made up to confuse me, like dreams, and lack of sleep. I have reached a hallucinatory stage of that (lack of sleep) by the way, circa 18:56, 2nd 6th, the June month, and the year is still 2017, and will be for a while, although days, months, years don't exist quite so much. Proust exists more. A day month year is an overlay of samsara over a samsara which is already an overlay, I think, according to milarepa, I think. "repa" means wrapped in thin cloth, I think. he could deal with the cold. probably he would enjoy sleeplessness. Or in fact did.

But nothing is for sure, no clear view of things. Let us enjoy obscurity!


forALL FORSOOK art history

note to self
idea of

something on Rachel Blau DuPlessis

-- / that I don't recall writing, I found it this afternoon. I found several strange notes this afternoon. Because I have forgot how to sleep once more.

In any case, I am re-re-re-reading Drafts, currently the volume 39-47&c /// I have the first volume but is in a differing country from the one I'm in. And I don't have final volume or some interim. Yet.


the note goes:

of the what

RBDuP asks,

the what she asks,

I double back to

re-ask(rescue) not

meaning but the

continuous question -----

not sure if I wrote this or it is a quote from something.

It makes sense to me. More so recently than other things.

Excuse me.

my favourite almost film / end of a love triangle /

kimagure orange road (no idea why it's called that) : everyone has psychic powers in tv series but in this movie which resolves the love triangle nothing is mentioned of such powers. I have it on VHS with english sub at home. Here, you have to deal with Korean sub, useless to me. There is also a spanish version I think. Ask and you shall receive. The moment on the bridge. The moment on the bridge. The moment on the bridge.

I cry at the very thought of watching this film....

bye bye 少女閣下のインターナショナル

-- collated material. the Go Seigen white and black fuseki books illustrate the black&white costume(with intermittent grey) of the group, their ending I here lament --

bye bye shoujyo international . . .

"beauty is so rare a thing . . . " Spicer paraphrases(?) Pound "So few drink at its fountain . . ."

In just two years or something the marginal-idol unit shoujyo kakka no international released a "one coin"(500en) single, a 4-track EP, a "first & last single" (so what was the previous one?) and a full 15-track (though tracks 1+15 are sort of short) album, then a last "one-man" live, (a friday ago) (one-man=no support act, I used to think meant just one person from a band would be appearing. . . and there is no "one-woman" . . . my advice, don't worry about these things, live & learn.

少女閣下のインターナショナル = well, the email of management said "his excellencies international young girls`&c" I think but I tend to prefer to think of "her majesties", and maybe I prefer to think of "setsuko hara" the reclusive once film star of Ozu films, and them being ghost emissaries of her spirit. This fits the filmic content/imagery of the music, that references Plan 9 from Outer Space/ Hitchcock / &, erm, Kevin Bacon (?), and kaiju films also.... essentially a chaotic paradigm, the music would involve maverick transitions, people talking over people singing, sudden outbursts, "that cover" (smell like teen . . . ) walking into walls repeatedly, maybe a reference to that old silent japanese film "pages of madness", asylum-like clothing co-ordination, all combined by some miraculous oversee-ing structure that parodied a shambles. To reference two other marginal-idol units, somewhere between BELLRING and escalator or elevator.

I don't want to see their like again, I want to see THEM again (another filmic reference, in fact) (film about giant ants)

少女閣下のインターナショナル was so rare a thing, approx 300 people drank at their fountain at their last live. (or drank cocktails named after songs, each drink accompanied by a poloroid (chaki)(what is origin of this word?)(it is name of the camera, a mini-dinky-little thing, the photo is taken with)

I am quite moved and don't know what to do with myself for a while now.






where I




( -_・)?
( -_・
( -_




NEW TREE re-NEWed / re-configured

//wife-woman made this so could become postcard, to send to who-I-don't-know//
EDIT*(I worded this utterly wrongly, I mean I made the damned tree image, with ink etc, and she made it post-cardable using special software on her mysterious modern phone)*

The bit upper-left corner is a plant of some sort, a real plant I mean. A flower I mean. I should attempt to identify it.

Seems rude not to.

You should see all the things I have picked up since then (time of picking up that flower) and now.

wife-woman oddly tolerant of this behaviour. Thank you.

(actually my friend became newly wed around this time so I like to thing of this as NEW TREE NEWLY-WED)

I am become romantic o_o


I been unproductivly productive today
like a dream I may not have dreamed yet


and yet

are you for once happy?
Wouldn't know how to gauge such

enjoy while lasts

OH&my pains have mostly gone
What shall I do without them?



MAW pre-sleep

the sleep part a bit dubious right now -It's 6am
but in any case
A MAW close-up as of now current appearance no reason accompany as per usual
note: make unreasonable become IRREASON


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too sweet to not share