_

dream had 12th May 2017, will appemd continuations and link via twitter where great approival will be gained part1.

I had hungover dream, riding a train, the wirral, a school colleague
who later died in a drug-deal gone wrong, and a comet, or something,
explosive --

ex-ploded, beautiful it was, look at that, I sd to schoolcolleague,
and was not comet/metero like/ more a storm of black with all colours
glowing within --

viewers of madoka may think of it as walpurgeiss nacht witch - he was
not a friend as such, but we had to do athletics runnings things
together, he always 1st, I 2nd--

--the train driver was able to escape the explosion by going thru
buildings, down steps &c, until end of line, and streets were melted,
glass-like, hot to the feet --

-- and he was thought to be missing first, not dead, I had rd in local
paper, and he'd married his schoolgirl-girlfriend, who made plea for
his re-appaearance, in newspaper --

**// ah this is something else/ a dream midrash/** // ah ' OH, all below likely write on ambien, hence obliteration of spelling. This too, but ambien hasn't kicked in yet or don't think it has, I can't see almost/// 21st May, interpolation./

I was preparing to call an ambulance for myself monday afternoon (is there etiquette involved, calling ambulance for yourself?) So but, as I thougt I was suffering head pain similar to prelimenaey thingy araxhnoid haemato

Ma haematoma &c & thougt best way of survicmg such a thing is to seek trained medical like assistance sooner rather than later.
I wondered what one needs to wear when going to hospital. And cbineta, I assume there are little cabinets to put things i.e., books in, a change of socks. Oh, a toothbrush. oh, tooth paste!

I became almost fond of the idea, of entering a hospital. The in-laws, one or two at least, may visit. Thinking fondly in such a manner got me through the pain (plus aome sobbing, sobbing seems to have its part to play in pain management).

I thought in the hospital they (trained medical people) may want to drain somw blood from my head. Maybe an mri, maybe a spinal tap. Almost for certain, a colonoscopy. and the same, throatways. At the same time!


**// at first was going to put this on twitter but is too long / so here for now / half-way thru the dream/ I remember the rest / I have had other dreams since but I remember still the continuation of above dream , . . . . / for now here we are, as kahala tomomi sang/sings still on occasion.


---- ** this dream accont will continue, I remember its ending still, also, another dream intervened, involved a cat. The prior dream (not yet fully told to include cat) include cat. The intervening dream, involving also a cat, shall not be fully described. Only to say:

---
A cat of a neighbour(not real, in the dream, and in the dream much more rich than me &c) needed a cat to be looked after, for I think three days. He (it was a he((the neighbour,in the dream also had a rabbit, but this did not require me looking after it)
the cat was clever, I think, and liked to eat the food of the rabbit, as a treat, or something.

The rabbit was powerless.

--

eventually I will return to the first dream, but there may be interventions. I think this is what this blog here shall be for, for now, for a while, or maybe ever ever.

Please stay attuned.

--- 29th of the 5th month, I think that is May(?) 2017 ---

2nd 6th (I think that is June, 2017) -- let us continue this nonsense --

I had dream some days ago (no dreams now, I can't slept, only night-day-night-daydreams (awake thoughts in other words, endless))

I had dream, gordon, some days ago, I was in indonesia (never actually been) taken over by an alternative (though reality is quite close-to-truth) fascist japanese "government" -- a particular picture of hitler with tanks on a bridge drew attention. I made friends with an indonesian boy.

Why I was there I don't know. There were no cats.

Now as I attempt writing my recollection of the dream it dwindles as though in retreat, as though my writing about it makes it afraid.

--Stop nonsense for a while stop. all stop. stop. -- it will re-occur once I lie down.

Oh did I mention I was looking after a cat for three days (in a dream) (looks above, yes I see I did mention that Oh well.)

"Hind Square"

-- we will get back to the first time when the stars are correct in alignment. Forgive me. --

------ (I am just going to post like this from now on. noone cares anyway. an infinite typewriter)

- anyway now I recall the indonesian dream further, I needed to write two pairs of kanji, and liberate indonesia. I can't remember them. They are halfway in my head and halfway elsewhere. one has 月 in it. (moon). and can't sleep and can't dream to get back there. maybe that is all real and I am here in an unreal-real and being blocked from returning to help.

I want to help/

and HELP!

--

(same day,month, year, as above, or is it below)

--

OH! and in the Indonesian boy's room/house was volume 9 of Proust, but in english there are only 6 volumes. But in french there are, like. 12, or something? it may have been easier for everyone to publish them like in francais, then it may not seem so daunting. I have the pink/yellowy volumes, 1-4 and a whiteish 5, but no 6 yet. I wanted all the pink/yellowy ones, for harmony's sake. But it wasn't to be. I often have re-occurring dreams about finding the pink/yellowy volumes. Anyway, what is volume 9 in francais? je ne sais pas. I got lost in volume four half way during a 400pg or so dinner or something party, so vowed to start from three. the last paragraph or so of volume 2 is one of my favourite paragraphs. Also, I heard volume 6 is not available in amerika? Why or this is simply something my mind has made up to confuse me, like dreams, and lack of sleep. I have reached a hallucinatory stage of that (lack of sleep) by the way, circa 18:56, 2nd 6th, the June month, and the year is still 2017, and will be for a while, although days, months, years don't exist quite so much. Proust exists more. A day month year is an overlay of samsara over a samsara which is already an overlay, I think, according to milarepa, I think. "repa" means wrapped in thin cloth, I think. he could deal with the cold. probably he would enjoy sleeplessness. Or in fact did.

But nothing is for sure, no clear view of things. Let us enjoy obscurity!

---

forALL FORSOOK art history

note to self
idea of
"WITH-STANDING"
what?
purpose?
a
petty
continuation
.

something on Rachel Blau DuPlessis



-- / that I don't recall writing, I found it this afternoon. I found several strange notes this afternoon. Because I have forgot how to sleep once more.

In any case, I am re-re-re-reading Drafts, currently the volume 39-47&c /// I have the first volume but is in a differing country from the one I'm in. And I don't have final volume or some interim. Yet.

Anyway:

the note goes:


of the what

RBDuP asks,

the what she asks,

I double back to

re-ask(rescue) not

meaning but the

continuous question -----

not sure if I wrote this or it is a quote from something.

It makes sense to me. More so recently than other things.

Excuse me.

my favourite almost film / end of a love triangle /



kimagure orange road (no idea why it's called that) : everyone has psychic powers in tv series but in this movie which resolves the love triangle nothing is mentioned of such powers. I have it on VHS with english sub at home. Here, you have to deal with Korean sub, useless to me. There is also a spanish version I think. Ask and you shall receive. The moment on the bridge. The moment on the bridge. The moment on the bridge.





I cry at the very thought of watching this film....

bye bye 少女閣下のインターナショナル


-- collated material. the Go Seigen white and black fuseki books illustrate the black&white costume(with intermittent grey) of the group, their ending I here lament --




bye bye shoujyo international . . .

"beauty is so rare a thing . . . " Spicer paraphrases(?) Pound "So few drink at its fountain . . ."

In just two years or something the marginal-idol unit shoujyo kakka no international released a "one coin"(500en) single, a 4-track EP, a "first & last single" (so what was the previous one?) and a full 15-track (though tracks 1+15 are sort of short) album, then a last "one-man" live, (a friday ago) (one-man=no support act, I used to think meant just one person from a band would be appearing. . . and there is no "one-woman" . . . my advice, don't worry about these things, live & learn.

少女閣下のインターナショナル = well, the email of management said "his excellencies international young girls`&c" I think but I tend to prefer to think of "her majesties", and maybe I prefer to think of "setsuko hara" the reclusive once film star of Ozu films, and them being ghost emissaries of her spirit. This fits the filmic content/imagery of the music, that references Plan 9 from Outer Space/ Hitchcock / &, erm, Kevin Bacon (?), and kaiju films also.... essentially a chaotic paradigm, the music would involve maverick transitions, people talking over people singing, sudden outbursts, "that cover" (smell like teen . . . ) walking into walls repeatedly, maybe a reference to that old silent japanese film "pages of madness", asylum-like clothing co-ordination, all combined by some miraculous oversee-ing structure that parodied a shambles. To reference two other marginal-idol units, somewhere between BELLRING and escalator or elevator.

I don't want to see their like again, I want to see THEM again (another filmic reference, in fact) (film about giant ants)

少女閣下のインターナショナル was so rare a thing, approx 300 people drank at their fountain at their last live. (or drank cocktails named after songs, each drink accompanied by a poloroid (chaki)(what is origin of this word?)(it is name of the camera, a mini-dinky-little thing, the photo is taken with)

I am quite moved and don't know what to do with myself for a while now.

希望いただく木



なんかだめなのに
木から
希望

でもだめそう
でかけた
なのに


助けて

団地

where I
live
住んでいる場所
団地だ
団地が好き

最高ベンチから

ネコもいる
あのへん

たまに

( -_・)?
( -_・
( -_

どこでもいえば
ネコがたまに
いっらしゃいます

いる

いる

NEW TREE re-NEWed / re-configured





//wife-woman made this so could become postcard, to send to who-I-don't-know//
EDIT*(I worded this utterly wrongly, I mean I made the damned tree image, with ink etc, and she made it post-cardable using special software on her mysterious modern phone)*

The bit upper-left corner is a plant of some sort, a real plant I mean. A flower I mean. I should attempt to identify it.

Seems rude not to.

You should see all the things I have picked up since then (time of picking up that flower) and now.

wife-woman oddly tolerant of this behaviour. Thank you.

(actually my friend became newly wed around this time so I like to thing of this as NEW TREE NEWLY-WED)

I am become romantic o_o

NEW TREE

I been unproductivly productive today
like a dream I may not have dreamed yet

BODES ILL

and yet

are you for once happy?
Wouldn't know how to gauge such

enjoy while lasts

OH&my pains have mostly gone
What shall I do without them?

settle

down

MAW pre-sleep

the sleep part a bit dubious right now -It's 6am
but in any case
A MAW close-up as of now current appearance no reason accompany as per usual
.
note: make unreasonable become IRREASON

FINNEGAN WAKE

PAGE 300
too sweet to not share

どうかぃかな