attempt haiku haiku attempted warning warning

maybe wrote a probably but not sure, bad haiku, (like, maybe there's hope for it) / the last bit is all my own work// the start is suggested by wife-woman// the middle is the necessary seasonal thingy plus a thing I am thinking is the main weak point (惜しみ)(the end (霞傘)is the make/or/break I don't know) I need to go to a school. Start from scratch.

I try not to be the sentimental though maybe haiku are supposed to be so in which case I don't like haiku.

well, as I once said to someone, there are 2 (at least) types of sentimentality, 1/(bad one) steven speilberg movies and the soundtracks of such etc, & 2/charlie parker solos, for example, and robert ashely, for example, and abe kaoru the japanese saxophonist , etc . . .

am awaiting verdict of mother-in-law who knows about these things





降りやんだ五月雨惜しみ霞傘





don't write like this, I was/am just drunk, and have no qualifications that would defend my disregard of form etc/though it still can seem like it looks good oh nows and then/

1 comment:

  1. now it turns out mother-in-law is not familiar with haiku in any useful manner (calligraphy, on the other hand)

    so: Where now? Who now? When now?

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